Computer stuff

My computer:
HP Pavilion a6110n PC

Motherboard
(photo courtesy of HP's website)



Crazy updates:
I bought my computer August 2007 and last week I did a full system restore on it - deleted everything, set it all up again, etc. It had so many updates to install - crazy!

Custodial Quote Wall

Previously published as a Facebook note.
Quotes from summer '09 - spring '10.
Me:
"potty juice" (cleaner)
"hey look, underwear" (undies abandoned in the girls' locker room)
"bandited" and "banditing" (tradition of leaving the aforementioned undies in the other crew's area as a joke)
"You can't be manly. Sorry." (talking to Scott about how he was the only guy on the crew)
"Upper division courses and private tutoring will be made available for those who express interest or exhibit apparent need." - in a letter to the editor I wrote with Scott about how people don't flush (didn't get published)
"I like it when guys are feminine."
"The bedroom." (Paris or Sicily)
Scott:
"My teacher's so great but I wish I could hate him."
"So I'm looking for a quick 'get rich' way to make money."
"I'm the testosterone bandit."
"Running really is like a drug. I don't know why it isn't against the Word of Wisdom. Oh wait, maybe 'cuz it's good for you."
"I want to go out like a man - not afraid of tampon bags."
Kipp:
"Girls' bodies do such gross things. If they weren't so pretty, I wouldn't touch 'em."
"Transaladilaja" - pronunciation of "tarantula"
Kinzi:
"The women's locker room IS a dangerous place."

Divorce Agreement

Divorce Agreement
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.


Sincerely,

John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.

On Flushing - Letter to the Editor

To our well-mannered fellow students, we congratulate you. It has come to our attention that it is possible for a person to become so advanced in their knowledge and intent on furthering it they can neglect or even forget the basics upon which their field of study is established.

We suppose that some people become so loaded with stress and the responsibilities of college life that they forget the very fundamentals taught at home when they were three years old. Though it is a simple task that most students do without thinking, the current trend of not flushing the toilet is becoming so popular that we are beginning to wonder if it is a new fad!

To help combat this problem, we propose that BYU offer a mandatory class entitled “Basic Restroom 101.” In it, students (and faculty) would learn there is more than one way to flush a toilet; there are four. Pull the handle up, push it down, rotate it until it flushes, or use your foot. Girls would learn that anything soiled with blood, a biohazardous substance, should be disposed of in the white boxes provided in every stall. Upper division courses and private tutoring will be made available for those who express interest or exhibit apparent need.

Cordially, your fellow students and custodians,

Angela Berrett and Scott Blanch

Quote Wall - Fall 2009 Norma's #3

Previously published as a Facebook note.
In order of most to least quotes:
Jessica
Doesn't he just look like he's on CRACK?
Just because I'm small doesn't mean I can't appreciate a dead cow on a plate.
I'm just not feeling intrinsically wisdomish.
It's assumed teenagers have brains, but that they're dormant.
I feel bad profiting off all your hard work, but I'll still do it, with a song in my heart.
I'm not supposed to be same - I'm female.
It's dangerous to be a closet leaper - shin injuries.
SEMI-bread of life - otherwise it would be blasphemous, and we can't have that.
Now I have an un-Christmas card list, and she's on THAT.
Why do we have to have them doing it in our kitchen?
Little aliens come with squirt hoses.
We have to put on a man-strut song.
In the resurrection when I'm not allergic anymore I'm playing with cats every single day.
Haven't you ever wanted to butter a sparrow?
I have my own dead cow! Ha!
Steve (Angela's boyfriend)
It could just be that I haven't spent so much time so close to other people's stomachs.
Jessica, do goldfish reproduce sexually or do they spawn?
I have nothing against the manly leap. I do it myself sometimes when nobody's watching.
Color pwn!
High heaven must be a stinky place, 'cuz everything stinks to it.
That's how the French say 'Merry Christmas.' They build people stuff.
Santa pwn!
There's two rules you have to follow: you don't cup, and you don't rub.
I can pretend there's pretend meat.
Julie
I feel sort of Asian right now 'cuz I have a square bowl.
I have those [munchies] every day. I think I'm a crack addict in my sleep, or something.
My life is complete!
I just wanna be Black because then I can tell people what I think and not get beat down for it.
Kirsten
I'm not a fan of sleeping with mosquitoes. I'm saving myself for someone.
I'm not sure how I feel about this... you just hatched a spoon.
Question mark?
Angela
What kind of church do YOU have?
I need to go sell my body. Julie should come too.
I can make octopus faces! If octopuses had faces, that's what they'd look like!
Becca (Julie's friend)
If you have a brain, it has to be intelligent.
Julie and I are never going to get married. We're going to move to Italy and get lots of purses.
Shaun (Kirsten's fiance, now husband)
Makes sense - they're both brains.
Hilary (Jessica's friend)
No one in this movie has a tan - not even the Black guy.
Two-person quotes:
"That's racial profiling!" - Steve "They're freaking pickles!" - Angela
"It would be like having a period that never ends." - Steve "FML." - goldfish
"They're trying to make one!" - Kirsten "They can't make it that way!" - Angela

In our relationship

Some good questions that'll provide opportunity for a thoughtful conversation with your significant other.

1. I feel loved when you…
2. I feel appreciated when you…
3. I am happiest when…
4. I am the saddest when…
5. I am angriest when…
6. I would like more…
7. I would like less…
8. I feel awkward when…
9. I feel uneasy when…
10. I feel excited when…
11. I feel close to you when…
12. I feel distant from you when…
13. I feel most afraid when…
14. My greatest concern/fear for us is…
15. What I like most about myself is…
16. What I dislike most about myself is…
17. The feelings I have the most difficulty sharing are…
18. The feelings I can share most easily with you are…
19. Our relationship could be greatly improved with just a little effort if we…
20. The one thing that needs the most immediate attention is…
21. The best thing is…

Funny situations

“Find Humor in Everyday Situations, Speaker Urges” by Cerisa Urry, on Barbara Barrington Jones

Jones told a story of a time when President Spencer W. Kimball was kneeling by his desk to pray. As he was on his knees a person walked in and found he was laughing; he then excused himself for interrupting and President Kimball replied, “Oh don’t bother, I just told Heavenly Father a joke.”

Why I'm Awesome

I did this for a job application, and it helps to perk my mood too!

I am a hard worker. I am dedicated to the task I am expected to do and do a very thorough job with whatever I’m assigned. I pay great attention to detail because I want to do well. I know how to keep things well organized and tidy so that I can be more efficient and productive. I am always willing to learn more and help others.
I am a fast hands-on learner with a good memory. I take direction from supervisors well and am not afraid to ask for help if I need it. As it pertains to leadership, unless I really know what I’m doing and don’t have too much expected of me all at once, if I must lead I prefer to be in a leadership position either under or with another person so we can help each other out. I enjoy working with people but I also enjoy working alone.
I am a very friendly, nice person and enjoy interacting with others in teamwork or customer service situations, among others. I love doing service for others; it is a priority of mine to make sure others are well taken care of and happy. If the situation allows, I will go out of my way to help someone with a project, whether big or small with no thought of repayment. People value my friendship and giving nature and I have been complimented on this many times.
I can have fun in any situation and am usually a very optimistic and happy person. If someone is not having a good day, I do my best to help lighten their mood; even if I am having a bad day I make sure to pretend I’m not and still try to cheer them up so that we can both feel better and be more productive. I try to always be the one that people can go to if they need anything; a task completed, someone to talk to, someone to cheer them up, etc.
I always stick to my principles and stand up for what I believe in. I will defend others if they are not being respected or treated fairly in whatever way is appropriate for the situation; standing up and putting in a good word for them, offering advice on how to approach a situation (if they have told me about another circumstance), or just being someone that will listen when people want to talk about their frustrations/stressors. I can usually tell what people are in the mood for; when people want someone to just listen or someone to give suggestions or advice, for example.

Parenting and Media

“Professor Gives Tips on Protecting Children in the Digital Age” by Michael Edwards, on Professor Charles Knutson, BYU Computer Science dept.

Completely cutting off a child from interaction with technology and the internet, Knutson said, should be avoided because it would rob the child of the chance to learn to limit themselves in the safety of the home.
“If you pull the plug you forfeit the opportunity for the child to make the mistakes they’re going to make in a protected environment,” he said.
Knutson then went on to talk about various parenting styles and their inherent strengths and weaknesses.
First, he discussed authoritarian parenting, which is parenting with a great deal of external control. He said the weakness of this type of parenting is it doesn’t allow kids the chance to make their own decisions or prepare them for temptations they will encounter once they leave the home.
Next, he talked about permissive parenting, which essentially involves no external control – because the parents think that is best, or because they’re simply not there. He said this is dangerous because there are no morals or guidelines passed on to the children.
Third, and most effective in helping children cope with digital temptations, Knutson talked about authoritative parenting. He said this parenting philosophy has clear standards of conduct for the children, and its discipline is supportive, not punitive.
“Authoritative parents take the perspective that their job is to empower their children to independently make good choices,” Knutson said, quoting Nancy Willard, a professional in the realm of safe and responsible use of the Internet.

poems from junior high and high school

Butterfly

Butterfly, butterfly,
Your wings are hued and colorful;
Sending fairy dust all over us…
Your dance is beautiful.

Butterfly, butterfly,
You float along on air
Whilst tiny breezes flutter from your wings
Sending you here and there.

Butterfly, butterfly,
Why do we love you so?
You’re here and there, far and near…
Until it’s time to go.

Butterfly, butterfly,
Wait – don’t stir a wing.
I can’t bear to have you leave me
Until another Spring.


Walt Disney

Walt Disney had talent
For making others laugh.
He began to show this at a very young age
When he drew on anything he could find.

One day he found a bucket of tar,
But thought it was paint for the house.
He painted a picture of his little pet pig
Right on the clean, bleached white wall!

Walt never had much money,
But he did have friends who cared
They worked and helped him
With his movie career.

Walt loved little children
And wanted to give them as much as he could.
He was the first cartoonist to put humor,
Color and sound in his movies just for them.

Walt loved making others happy and was good at it too.
The public loved him, and so
He will always be remembered
For the enjoyment he gave.


Yelling

little kid
leaned over cliff and yelled.
canyon in sudden
ferocity, answered.

a great sound
invaded the canyon.
lots of little kids
yelled together
and canyon vibrated.

from all sides
piercing yells
obnoxious yells rolled
and rolled around.

very shocking yells!

But Nothing Fell.



If I Were in Charge of the World

If I were in charge of the world,
I’d cancel
Vegetables,
Weeds,
Mold,
Smelly feet,
Mud puddles,
and especially kids who punch the lockers.

If I were in charge of the world,
There’d be
Free pop and candy,
Pillow fights in class, and
Nap time instead of R.I.S.E.

If I were in charge of the world,
You wouldn’t have stinky,
You wouldn’t have ugly,
You wouldn’t have rude,
Or “Do your homework first.”
You wouldn’t even have homework.

If I were in charge of the world,
Chocolate and marshmallows would be necessary for life,
Little brothers would be remote controlled,
And a person who never studies
And doesn’t pay attention
Would still be allowed to be in charge of the world.

If I Were in Charge of the World

If I were in charge of the world,
I’d cancel
Stupidity,
Disease,
Drugs,
Bombs,
War,
and especially bin Laden and Saddam.

If I were in charge of the world,
There’d be
Peace,
Safety, and
Cures for all medical problems.

If I were in charge of the world,
You wouldn’t have punks,
You wouldn’t have pornography,
You wouldn’t have immodesty,
Or “Obey the law!”
Because you wouldn’t need laws.

If I were in charge of the world,
Bad guys wouldn’t get away,
Jails would have nobody in them,
And a person who tries to be good
But still isn’t perfect
Would still be allowed to be in charge of the world.

Anne Frank

Anne Frank was a girl
With a spirited heart;
Independent and free,
She had ideas of her own.

She lived in the era
Of World War II;
The time when dumb Hitler
Tried to conquer the world.

He exterminated Jews
Wherever he went,
And left nothing but
Pain and anguish in his path.

Anne and her family
Went into hiding
In the annex of her
Father’s old business.

They had to be quiet
And take special precautions
So only Miep and Mr. Kraler
Would know they were there.

Anne spent a few years there,
Writing in her diary,
But then one night a burglar
Told police where they were.

The Green Police came and got them
And they were sent off
On the very last train
To Auswitz.

Most of them died there
But no one knows
What happened to Mr. VanDaan.
Anne’s father was the only one left.

All that remained
To show Anne and her life
Was a little, old, patched, and frayed
Diary.

Math

Math is the square root of all evil;
Never-ending, ceaseless toil.
It laughs in our faces,
Sending our brains through its phases.

Angles, graphs, and pi,
Little obnoxious number signs.
It’s not fun at all.
It will soon kill us all.

Math needs to die.

The Moon

The moon is a hunk of green cheese in the sky
Rays soft as a chord in a lullaby
Night burglars picture a curse from the sky
To us it’s a beauty
why?

Nachos in Heaven

The moon is a ball of nacho cheese
The sky is a tortilla chip
Pleading with the gods
Eat me before I die

Bored

Not “I’m doing homework” bored,
Not “Nothing’s going on” bored,
Not “tired” bored,
Waiting bored!
Bored because this is taking too long,
This class lasts forever, and
I don’t want to be here!

Nick

He is a silver euphonium
Eyes like an eagle
Happy and carefree
5-star general of the United States military

Natalie

She is a megaphone
Yelling like a banshee
Cute and cuddly
Life-saving veterinarian

Zach [written 6/17/08]

He is a golden trumpet
Mind of a chess master
Loving me
Programmer for Nintendo Game Company


Steve [written 7/10/09, as are the following]

He is a polished clarinet
Laughing in falsetto
Outgoing and understanding
Clinical psychologist

Me

I am a silver flute
Personality of a caring friend
Hoping
Mother and photojournalist/editorial writer

Mom

She is a sewing machine
Mind of a planner
Making our family better
Family history guru

Dad

He is an HO scale train table
Heart of a teacher
Laughing and singing
Bank examiner teacher and singer

Alex

He is a Nintendo Wii
Mind of a gamer and creator
Mastering his skills
Airplane engineer