To our well-mannered fellow
students, we congratulate you. It has come to our attention that it is possible
for a person to become so advanced in their knowledge and intent on furthering
it they can neglect or even forget the basics upon which their field of
study is established.
We suppose that some people become
so loaded with stress and the responsibilities of college life that they forget
the very fundamentals taught at home when they were three years old. Though it
is a simple task that most students do without thinking, the current trend of
not flushing the toilet is becoming so popular that we are beginning to wonder
if it is a new fad!
To help combat this problem, we
propose that BYU offer a mandatory class entitled “Basic Restroom 101.” In it,
students (and faculty) would learn there is more than one way to flush a toilet; there
are four. Pull the handle up, push it down, rotate it until it flushes, or use
your foot. Girls would learn that anything soiled with blood, a biohazardous
substance, should be disposed of in the white boxes provided in every stall. Upper
division courses and private tutoring will be made available for those who
express interest or exhibit apparent need.
Cordially, your fellow students and
custodians,
Angela Berrett and Scott Blanch
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