Love Languages

My roommate has a book on the five 5 love languages and I've been reading it. I also went to a really good seminar once and the speaker (Scott Anderson) mentioned them as well. The languages are:

Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch

What are your thoughts and/or favorite languages? Have you noticed any of these tendencies in your friends?

A good way to tell somebody's primary language is by how they act. For instance, if they are always hugging people, their primary language is probably Physical Touch. If somebody likes to do tings for people or give them things, it's probably Acts of Service or Receiving Gifts. You get the idea. However, that does not mean that the other languages are not important. But if that person is shy, you might not be able to tell their real language-- and you might not even tell they're shy. They could be totally outgoing when it comes to other things but reserved when it comes to trying to show someone that they like them. Or even somebody who normally isn't like that could be shy when they're not sure how the other person will respond.

Here are my thoughts on the love languages:

Words of Affirmation: I love it when they're said directly to me- that's kind of something I expect every day (like a compliment or "I love you"), but to really show me someone cares, I love it when comments are unexpected, like if we're in a group and they say something good about me or they tell someone something good about me and I hear about it later.
Quality Time: Also really important- I expect it also, but when it's really hard to fit in an actual date or something besides sitting on the couch (after marriage) and talking or whatever stuff we do daily, quality time becomes a special expression of love when someone makes time for me when it's not convenient. But I still kind of expect that... hm. Meh.

Receiving Gifts: Gifts are just fun, but that's not my primary language. Maybe that's because I don't like lots of money being spent on me because I feel bad- stuff is expensive, especially when you're a college student living off your summer savings or whatever you make at your piddly part-time on-campus job (unless you have a good one somehow, but still). I do like to give gifts though- it's fun to doorbell-ditch (or give them some other way) cookies or double-chocolate banana muffins or something every once in a while.

Acts of Service: I consider acts of service as something done out of love, but not as the primary way to show love, if that makes sense. I do consider it love,because if you love your spouse you'll do that sort of thing for them, but not as much one of my more important love languages just because I expect a husband to do those kinds of things anyway... well I guess it is an important one... hm, how to word. "Meh" again.

Physical Touch: The funnest one (and yes I know that's not a word). I love just sitting close to somebody while we watch a movie or go on a hayride or whatever. This is also something that's not too hard to do if you're too shy to let someone know you like them another way. You can show it nonverbally by just sitting close to them during a movie or hayride or whatever you do for a date, or if you're walking around looking at the leaves or just taking a walk and making conversation, it's not too hard to put your hand on their back or if you're bold, around them, and if you're even bolder, reaching for their hand. This is often easier to get away with if it's cold out- and if your date says that they're cold, they might even be hinting at this. (FYI girls drop hints like crazy-- or at least I have been known to. I don't really know how much guys do because they seem to not like the whole subtlety thing as much; they seem to prefer being more blunt. Guys, any thoughts?). Just don't do something extreme or sudden because that probably won't go over well. As far as watching other people enjoy physical touch, that's a really big pet peeve of mine. Let me tell you why. to be continued after class

More info on the book:
It's by Gary Chapman, a marriage therapy counselor sort of guy. In his book he explains the different languages of love, basically how to show someone you love them in a way that will best communicate "love" to them. He also talks about different "dialects" in the languages- basically different kinds of Quality Time or Acts of Service or whatever. It's a really good book, only about half an inch thick, and I think they use it in a class but I could be totally wrong- my roommate has it and I borrowed it. It's really good and I'd recommend it to anybody college age and up- I guess teenagers too but it's more important for those who are actually looking for a more serious relationship.