http://pff.7h.com/articles/view_article.php?id=11
When the MTC was built in Provo, beautiful green athletic fields were planted so the missionaries would have a place to exercise. However, they were so inviting that BYU students were attracted there, and you would see BYU students out playing touch football, throwing frisbees, etc. on the missionaries' field. To deal with this problem, a large banner was posted, which read "Missionaries Only."
The next day, BYU students were out on the field, playing touch football and throwing frisbees. They had posted a new banner which read, "Every member a missionary."
http://www.lightplanet.com/mormons/humor/
Missionary myth.
Two missionaries were asked to speak in the Sacrament Meeting of the small branch in which they were serving. As the first missionary got up to speak, the zipper in his pants broke -- unbeknown to the young Elder. The branch was so small that they didn't even have a real pulpit; they used a music stand to speak behind. It didn't take long for everyone to notice the young missionary's problem. In his innocence, he continued to talk, but couldn't figure out why he was getting so many smiles at first, followed by a few nervous giggles. Even his companion had figured out the problem by now, so he looked in his scriptures and wrote "Isaiah 6:5" on a small piece of paper and slipped it into his companion's hand. Unfortunately, the new missionary wasn't familiar with the Old Testament, so he figured it must be something his companion wanted him to read. Opening the scriptures, he read aloud: "Then said I, Woe [is] me! for I am undone...!" As the congregation burst into unrestrained laughter, the senior companion rushed his young charge to the Men's room.
[NOTE: 2 Nephi 16:5 and Numbers 21:29 can be similarly used]
http://www.lightplanet.com/mormons/humor/bible.htm
A scripture to send a missionary who is not writing letters home:
"And now behold, we desire to know the cause of this exceedingly great neglect; yea, we desire to know the cause of your thoughtless state." Alma 60:6
http://www.lightplanet.com/mormons/humor/bible.htm
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