if you claim to be a Mormon

A Facebook "friend" of mine wrote a scathing note about LDS culture, and this was my boyfriend's response.

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Oh boy, I like this note. Let's see, what to address...

First...I think you have suffered from the "minority representing the majority" problem that plagues the church...I'm glad you acknowledged that you know that everyone doesn't do that, which is very important, but I'd still like to point out that your examples are those people who...well, are not representative of a normal Mormon, just representative of the what too many people think is a typical Mormon.

Quick tidbit of info: The actual stance of the LDS church is that one should refrain from exclamations of that sort at all. There really isn't a time that anyone *has* to say anything like that, but people have grown so accustomed to saying stuff like that that if someone wants to change, they just censor themselves to "frick", "dang", "crap" instead of going all the way. Probably one of the least followed things in the church, actually.

Now about quoting things like the honor code, FSOY, etc...as far as the honor code goes, anyone who goes to BYU deserves to have that quoted at them, since they are legally obliged to follow it. If someone who doesn't go to BYU gets it quoted at them, then yes, that is wrong to do, but otherwise it is no different than any other contract or legal agreement. You signed it, so you do it.

Quoting the FSOY, Prophet, BoM, Official Church standings, etc...well, this again depends on who you are. If you are a Mormon who claims to believe as the church does, then you better well act like it, and these things being quoted are what you should be following. And if you claim to be a Mormon, then others who hear your claim will assume you believe as the LDS church does. If this is not true, then don't profess yourself to be Mormon. I am not saying to stop being a Mormon, but don't make people think that your beliefs are the same as the Mormon beliefs if they are not. Now I think I've gotten off...

...my original point, so let's make a new paragraph and get back on track.

If you claim to be a Mormon, then you must be prepared to have the things that define Mormon beliefs pointed out to you if you are not following them. If you are a Mormon but do not claim to follow Mormon beliefs...well, that's the problem isn't it...in fact, I'm going to come back to it later - I'll put more thought into it while I write this next part.

If you are not Mormon, and the person quoting these things is doing so because they are saying that the things they are quoting are the reason that you are wrong, then the person doing the quoting is absolutely wrong in doing that. In any case, not just the Mormon example, this is using these things in the utterly wrong context and in the Mormon case is also being rather un-Mormon. *This* is most definitely a case of forcing your beliefs, and this part is *definitely* a stupid thing to do. It simply alienates the person from your beliefs even more. . .

. . .HOWEVER (and this is where people get caught up way too often: If the person is quoting them because they are saying "I believe what you are doing is wrong, and this is why I believe that" (as opposed to "What you are doing is wrong, and this is why it is wrong"), *that* is OK. It is not the wisest of tactics, since almost anyone will assume that you are intending the second sentence, but to do so is not inherently wrong. In *this* situation, it is the fault of the one who claims to be attacked, because they are reading the situation incorrectly.

Now...back to being a Mormon but not claiming to follow Mormon beliefs...well, it seems to me that it makes both parties are in the right...your fellow Mormons still are in the right to tell you what the true Mormon beliefs are, because even you aren't telling others, you *are* a Mormon. However, you also have the right to request of someone to cease telling you those things and to expect them to stop. If you haven't requested...
...something like that, then the response should be to ask them to stop. If you *have* asked them to stop, that is when they are in the wrong.

Wow...I'm all written out. I could probably write a few comments more, but I've hit the point where I just don't want to anymore. I feel I should add a couple things though:

In case there are readers who aren't aware, the "Mormon Church", the "LDS Church", and "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints" are one and the same. Apologies if any confusion arose because of that.

Also, as I usually have to, I will add a disclaimer. This is not intended as an attack on anybody. It is also not intended to defend the LDS Church or its members, though I am sure it did at some points. I do not believe Ashley's note to be attacking either of these, and I want to make an effort to make sure people are not taking it that way, and if I tried to defend where I should have this would be contrary to that belief. So, to anyone who read her note and...
(It was just pointed out to me - the sentence above should read "...shouldn't have, this would be contrary...")
...came off offended, please re-read it and read what she is actually saying. This is also becoming less of a disclaimer and more of me starting to write again...:P But, to finish the disclaimer: I also ask the same thing if you came off of my comments offended. Please read what I wrote again and see that I am not attacking anyone. If it helps, this is written in second person: any "you" means anyone, in general, not anybody specific.

Oh, one last thing, and this time I am addressing Ashley specifically: You shouldn't discredit yourself. I am referring to "I don’t even expect people to read this far". Your point is well made and most of us, at least anyone who cares about this type of thing, will read these things all the way through.

Alright, that's it for now, there is other stuff I could write on though, so if I decide to, don't say I didn't warn you. ;)