The Soap Opera of Too Many Characters

The Soap Opera

of

Too Many Characters

Once upon a time, Wally the Wienerschnitzel was going for a walk when he met a frog. The frog’s name was Ribbit and he had a pet muffin named Cherry. (Angela Berrett)

Cherry was eaten by Ribbit because Ribbit was hungry. Cherry is no longer in this story. (Jacob Reuckert)

While Ribbit was crying because of the horrible thing he had done, along came a pretty unicorn. Her name was Sparkle Rainbow. She told Ribbit that they could be best friends! So Ribbit got on her back and they flew away. Well, they had forgotten about the wienerschnitzel. He sat and started to cry. But, some of Sparkle Rainbow’s magic dust fell on him, and the schnitzel turned into a handsome Prince. (Olivia Dayton)

Then out of the sky came Lord Voldemort and it ate the unicorn and then the prince turned into stone because Lord Voldemort was so ugly and then Harry Potter came and turned Lord Voldemort into a rabbit and right then a wolf ate the rabbit. (Jacob Reuckert)

Then a turtle named Flash came into the story because he was so fast and he could jump so high that he just jumped right into the story. And then the turtle tripped Harry Potter and he fell off a cliff and into a lake but because he didn’t take swimming lessons he drowned. But he dropped his wand so the turtle picked it up and became Donkey. Then he used his wand and turned the wolf into Shrek. And Donkey told Shrek "I’m making waffles." (Brandon Heffron)

Right then Nemo from "Finding Nemo" grew so big that he averaged 2 inches in length he then called for his friend Bruce. Bruce attacked Shrek but Shrek killed Bruce so Nemo called for another friend his name was Dad. Dad is so big that he ate Shrek and then Donkey kicked Dad’s stomach and Shrek fell out and then Shrek and Donkey went on another quest. (Jacob Reuckert)

Then the alien named Thorlisknor came in his hammer shaped warship. And used his advanced technology and brought everybody back to life. And Puss in Boots cut a piece of ham and ate it. (Thomas Larsen)

Then Fred Flintstone came and destroyed all of the advanced technology because he had a simple mind and the technology gave him a headache. Then he got in his car and went bowling with Barney. (TJ Burr)

Then Alisa was seen walking around in a daze of confusion because there were so many characters she had absolutely no idea what was going on so Shrek came up behind her a nd put her out of her misery by snapping her neck. (Alisa Watanabe)

This created and unresolved paradox, and the universe immediately imploded in itself and began anew with all new characters like Sally. Sally was a looker. (Matt Dea)

All of a sudden, Jaleh Afshar aka Satan/God comes and threatens to destroy everybody unless she receives $1 million dollars and Serj as her personal slave. (Jaleh Afshar)

Unfortunately for Jaleh aka Satan/God, Ganondorf had accumulated all 3 parts of the triforce, therefore he was able to assimilate Jaleh into pure osmium. Therefore Ganon ruled the worlk until all of the sudden, Link, the Hero of Time, showed up and kicked Ganon’s butt. Link got the triforce, became immortal, and revived Cherry the talking blueberry muffin to command Ganon’s former throne. (Matt Dea)

On one of Link’s days off work, he was out having a slurpee at 7-11 when in walked Sally. Link’s mouth popped open and his eyes glazed over. What a hottie! (Angela Berrett)

Unfortunately for Link, Sally was afraid of commitment. She was just a "naughty" girl. Link was so sad he decided to go into hiding. He put the master sword back in the pedestal to go back in time 7 years. Then he took the four sword out of his pedestal to become 4 different Links; Green Blue, Red, and Black. They split in the 4 directions, North, South, West, and East and weren’t seen again for 3 years. They are no longer affected by anything for the next 70 paragraphs. Anything else is a LIE!!! (Matt Dea)

Anyways the bass fish who wrote above me is very long winded. Link gets decapitated by a flying kangaroo. He will never return again. The kangaroo becomes king of the pound and all the other dogs worship him. Everybody previously mentioned in the previous stories were killed by a nuclear bomb dropped by the king kangaroo. Everyone died. No survivors except king kangaroo and his kingdom. They dwell in a palm tree for time and all eternity happily ever after. King kangaroo lives. (?)

Red Link survived and was bored so he went to find some "action." He ran into Zelda. He got slapped and he ran away. He ran straight into king kangaroo. Red Link was so ticked off he chained king kangaroo to a wall and skinned him alive while he watched the kangaroo die. He went back to Zelda which led to his death. And that is the life story of No, aka (Camren Copier)

Suddenly: BOOM! Everybody died. The end. (Angela Berrett)

But was it the end? Far far away in another universe was a thing and this thing was Marvin the Martian and he was gay but that is another story to tell but as you can see this story was destroyed when Angela’s chemistry class wrote in it. The End.

But was it? (Jacob Reuckert)